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We are back with our weekly updates from our in house agony aunt ‘Aunty Fabulous’ and hear some of the questions she has been asked, it was a great to hear how, ‘Aunty Fabulous’ tackled these obstacles.
Question: Dear Agony aunt, my partner is not Jewish we have been seeing each other for four years now. He is strict Roman Catholic and will not convert to Judaism. My parents are ok about me dating and they believe we will not marry because of this reason. From my point of view I am 31, I am in love, we live together and I want to marry him.
He wants to marry me but we are both scared of our families reactions. Do you have any advice ?
finding a partner you love and having a mutual friendship, trust and wonderful relationship is something many women and men look for.
It is lovely to hear you have found love with your partner.
Religion can create blocks with many families and when it comes to marriage may pull families apart unless a true understanding and acceptance is come to first.
If you marry is your partner happy for your children – if you want children – to be brought up in the Jewish faith if this is what you would want? Will this create conflict between the two of you? This is just one of many questions you need to ask yourselves.
Have you sat down and discussed marriage with your family? Open communication is best.
If your parents are of the view that your happiness must come first before anything else and they want to support you then that is great.
If they are completely against it then you need to discuss your feelings and be open with them.
Ultimately it is your decision what you decide to do.
Your piece of mind and your happiness is important but you need to find a solution either way.
You need to think about the future. Family are important and having a Jewish upbringing is as special for you as your partner having a Roman Catholic upbringing.
Be aware of the conflict that may arise. Go into this if this is what you choose with your eyes wide open.
And also be prepared to compromise with your partner. He is probably feeling the same as you.
I don’t know how much your faith and family means to you and the risk of losing your family over the man you want to be with.
I wish you luck with your choice. Only you can make that decision and it needs to come from your heart as well as your head from a practical level too.
Take care xx
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