We are back with our weekly updates from our in house agony aunt ‘Aunty Fabulous’ and hear some of the questions she has been asked, it was a great to hear how, ‘Aunty Fabulous’ tackled these obstacles.
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Question: Dear Aunty Fabulous I have gotten myself into terrible debt over the last few years. I have moved house had a few children and my spending has spiraled out of control. I am now having sleepless nights about how to tell my husband, but I know I need too.Do you have any advice how I could soften the blow?
AUNTY FABULOUS ANSWER: Honesty to your husband is the best way forward in this situation.Before you talk to your husband look at why you have been spending. By accepting what you have done and taking action to resolve this is a great step forward.
Just like comfort eating, spending and shopping can become a habit and perhaps you need to get this under control first so that you are coming from a better place. This will show your husband that you are doing everything possible to change your spending ways.If you are unhappy within yourself or your marriage perhaps the spending has been an excuse for you.
Maybe you aren’t feeling the freedom you used to before having children or you aren’t getting the attention you need from your husband.
Consider what you do during your day. Are you a mum at home or do you work?If you are at home then boredom may set in and you are possibly looking for outlets and retail therapy has been your answer. By looking at other ways to fill your day and explaining this to your husband could make a huge difference. Perhaps you could get involved helping a charity. And if you exercise already look at different workouts you could do or start exercising regularly if you don’t. Exercise helps lift our moods and definitely leaves you less time for spending!Depending on your time schedule with young children it can be challenging to get a job. There may be some market research or other alternatives you may consider that you can do to work around your children.
Communication with your husband and showing him that you feel remorse about what you have done and want to make changes is the best way forward. If he is understanding and caring he will listen although it will be natural for him to be upset. It is possible you may need a mediator such as a friend or family member. Ask him to help you make those changes. Cut your credit cards up and only spend what you have.
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