We are back with our weekly updates from our in house agony aunt ‘Aunty Fabulous’ and hear some of the questions she has been asked, it was a great to hear how, ‘Aunty Fabulous’ tackled these obstacles.
Aunty Fabulous is now booking sessions for one-to-on lifestyle coaching at The Joshi Clinic, 57 Wimpole Street, London W1. Call her to see how she can help you make positive change 07958984195.
Question: With it being winter and feeling utterly exhausted from having a new born, a lot of our readers are finding that their social lives are suffering. They have stopped wanting to go out and socialise with friends which is causing a negative impact on friendships. Friends are getting offended that these new mums do not want to see them. How can they explain it is nothing personal and that going out would be just what they want and need but when it comes down to it, they physically cannot leave the house from being too tired. From another point of view it is also important to make sure that you are still going out with friends and enjoying some you time whilst also trying to switch off from being a mum?
AUNTY FABULOUS ANSWER: Having a new born baby is special and exciting as well as emotional and exhausting especially during the first few months.
AUNTY FABULOUS SAYS If you have recently become a new mum STOP putting the pressure on yourself and worrying what your friends think about you! If they haven’t had a baby yet they won’t understand how you are feeling until they do!
AUNTY FABULOUS TIPS
- Getting out and socialising again is good for the soul! It’s also good to go out when you are ready. STOP putting pressure on yourself to go out with friends.
- Carrying a baby for nine months means that after you give birth your bodies needs time to adjust. It can be a very emotional time for many first-time mums as everything is so new and can be very daunting as well as mentally and physically tiring.
- Your friends won’t know how you are feeling unless you tell them! Talking and keeping the communication channels open is key. If they are your real friends they will understand and be there for you whatever.
- Once you have had the all clear from your gynecologist depending on if you have had a natural birth or caesarean section I suggest joining a post-natel class.
- Start socializing with other new mums! It is not only good for you physically but good for you mentally too.
- Your body needs to heal. Eat healthy food, sleep when baby sleeps and give yourself time.
- The tiredness will pass. It is very natural to feel exhausted especially if you don’t have any extra support during the night feeds. If your partner is happy to do the 10pm and 6am feed perhaps you can get an early night a few evenings a week and you could swop on weekends.
- Arrange for your partner to do the 2am/3am feed and meet up with some friends for dinner one evening a week WHEN YOU ARE READY!
- If you are breastfeeding it’s your choice to choose what is best for your baby and how long. You may consider expressing the milk so others can help out too.
- Have friends round and ask them all to bring a different dish. Let them help you! You are the one who has brought this precious gift into the world and you want to show him/her off and give so much love!
- Don’t let your friends make you feel bad you aren’t seeing them as much. Tell them you love them all and appreciate them being there for you.
AUNTY FABULOUS SAYS: Don’t make having a baby an excuse for everything to stop completely. Give yourself time to heal and get over the initial few months and take care of you! Your baby wants a Mummy that looks after herself too. After all you are his/her roll model for life!
Tell your partner you need a pamper day with the girls. Manicure, pedicure, facial and a massage once you have had the all clear.
Bringing a new baby into the world is a magical moment and a lifetime of unconditional love and so much more! STOP making excuses that you feel bad you aren’t going out so much initially. If your friends are real friends they will understand.
Even if you don’t have a new born baby it’s much nicer to stay in the warm on a freezing cold minus zero night and watch a movie curled up on the sofa!
Enjoy your baby time as before long those sleepless nights will become distant memories and your beautiful baby will be leaving the nest and going to nursery.
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